As another year comes to an end, I look back and wonder where the days went. Time seems to go faster as we age, doesn't it? Yet in the same breath, I feel like it's been forever since I last held my girl. I think its pretty normal for a bereaved parent. For me, it's one year closer to being with her again.... yet I look back and see how far I have come in the past 365 days. I have finished yet another degree, this time not to climb the corporate ladder, but to learn to help others find peace and happiness in their lives. I don't know yet where that will take me, but I find myself surrounded by new friends and opportunities I never thought possible. Many exciting new things are on the horizon, and I believe this year will continue to change who I am and which direction my journey will take me.
And I realize I'm learning to live life again, to laugh and find some joy in the living of it. My son, my grandsons, my family, all fill some of the emptiness that still lingers. My new-found friendships wrap me in a warm embrace like I have never known. I have been blessed to learn from some of the greatest teachers. The change inside of me is profound. I see people and things in a new light, recognizing that we each have a purpose, that we are connected in ways that go beyond this human understanding. I've learned that letting go of Sheridan in the physical doesn't mean I'm losing anything- quite the opposite! The more we learn to let go, the more our loved one's are with us! She is very active in guiding me, as well as a lot of in-my-face proof of her presence here. She still calls me out when it's necessary, and brings me to where I need to be. It doesn't mean that I stopped grieving, or crying myself to sleep at times, or that the pain is gone. It means that I am learning to absorb it, with the knowledge that she never went anywhere, and that we will be together again. There is light and hope in knowing that we don't die, we simply step into another form.
This past year I attended the Afterlife Research and Education Institute Symposium in Scottsdale. Being a blend of left and right brain thinking, I rely on scientific evidence as well as personal experience. I am 99% convinced that there is no death. I keep 1% of healthy skepticism- but I cannot deny what I have seen and experienced first hand. This gathering of scientists, researchers, highly tested mediums, and people like me who have had after death contact with a loved one, was an incredible privilege. And above all, it was a "Love fest" of over 500 people who have become aware of who we are and why we are here. It is an unlearning of religious dogma, a realization of a greater reality in our lives. This year it has doubled in size, and these types of groups and events are happening all over the world.
I'm going to throw this out there, in the hope that it might help someone make sense of changes they are feeling, but don't understand. More people are waking up to this truth every day. Some of you are feeling this energy shift, but don't understand it. It is a shift in consciousness. An awareness that there is more to life than what we see.
I know without a doubt that this life, with all of its highs and lows, are part of our soul's plan, that we chose the lessons we wanted to learn while here. Many question why a parent would choose such pain, but for me it is very clear. It breaks us open so the light can get in. Our soul lives on after physical life. I have experienced the proof of this in many ways. And with this comes the awareness of our true purpose here- to love, to live with compassion and empathy for others, that we are all connected- not only to each other, but to the Divine Source of All that is. This spiritual awareness has helped me to heal, and in return has given me the desire to help others that find themselves on this path. Each of us has been given gifts to share, and it is the reason we are here. Although events of this past year were difficult for many of us, I will always believe that love wins. These things have to happen to shine a light on the darkness, to expose it, in order to change it. Instead of giving into fear and hate, we can choose to focus on love, and peace. Carl Jung called it the Collective Consciousness- and by raising the vibration we can change everything. As for me, I am learning to live in the present moment, without worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, just living in this moment, right now. Once we take off the mask, when we can dig deep and let go of all of the fear that blinds us, we become who we have forgotten we are- beautiful, amazing spirit beings. I'm aware that many don't understand this, those who have been spoon-fed religious dogma that leaves out the truth of who and what we are. They got part of it right, just left out some important pieces. (There are over 1000 religions in the world!) Now science is confirming what many already know, thru quantum physics, biocentrism, and scientific research all over the world. That our consciousness is eternal, and that our thoughts, our feelings and words, create the reality we live in. Each one of us has the power to change our life just by changing our perceptions. If you can change your negative thoughts and words for just 30 days, you'll be amazed at what happens!
I know my babygirl is proud of me. I choose to honor her life, the lessons she taught me, and the gifts she gave by holding out my hand to others. For those of you that are with me on this path of spiritual awareness, I thank you. There are no coincidences- we are here to help each other.
This coming year for me is about learning, new beginnings, and infinite possibilities. I wish all of you the same. We don't have to agree on everything to help each other. As Ram Dass said, "We are all just walking each other home". I'm happy to have you all on this journey with me.
As I finished this post, it was 11:11, a sign an angel is near. But then, she always is. Happy New Year, and Namaste.
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