As the mother of a child who transitioned a little over 3 years ago, I am often asked how I survived her loss. Where did I find the strength? Is there anything I can share that will help them to heal? And as they speak, I wonder if they will listen when I tell them that she didn’t actually leave me at all? That our relationship is as strong as it ever was, even if they can’t see her? Can I help them to understand that their child remains by their side? I’m not sure I would have believed it – until it happened to me. My loss is not unique – but my story is. It is my hope that by sharing it, others will be inspired to do the same. Because that is where the healing begins….
I am a Spiritual and Intuitive Life Coach, who helps teach parents about their continued relationship with their child, how to recognize signs and ways they communicate, and how to develop the ability to experience an ongoing connection. But before Sheridan passed, I spent 30 years in business administration, obtaining my MBA just a month before my daughter transitioned. My life was probably much like what most single parents experience. I wasn’t a particularly religious person, and had only a little knowledge of spirituality that began shortly before she left. I remember her laughing at my attempts at meditation, and the day she asked me what I thought happened when we died. I told her I believed that our spirit never really dies, but I didn’t really know why I believed that. I could never have imagined that my belief would be put to the test just 2 weeks after that conversation...
My beautiful little girl was a whirlwind, stubborn, willful, vibrant, funny, and intelligent; a magical creature who embraced all that life could give in her short 15 years. She sustained an undetected brain injury after being kicked in the head during a cheerleading stunt. It sat there silently for a few weeks, until the night of February 28th, 2014, when it exploded into life, taking her into the darkness of a coma. For 3 weeks, I struggled with questions of life and faith, and finally allowed death to claim the light from her physical body. And in that moment, everything I thought I knew or believed in changed.
From the first week following Sheridan’s passing, I experienced her presence (clairsentience), saw her appear before me in a darkened room (clairvoyance), and heard her speak to me (clairaudience). My mind could not deny what was happening. She was right by my side. Her beautiful, golden energy continued to embrace me as I navigated my way thru the darkness of grief. And I finally realized that nothing had really changed – except that she was now in the Light. It was like she went on a vacation to another country, so I had to learn a new language to communicate. Despite my heavy grief, I suddenly found myself in a whole new world, one where everything is infinite. A knowing that there there is no death, only a changing of form. Once I understood that love never dies, I began the process of learning to live with my new-found awareness, with a foot in each world. I submerged myself in metaphysics, afterlife research, mediumship, and all things spiritual. What shook me to the very core of my soul changed me from the inside out. And guiding me the whole way was my beautiful daughter, Sheridan. She began to teach me about who I was, and nudged me onto the path of helping others.
Two years later, I was asked to be an affiliate co-leader of a national grief support group for bereaved parents, Helping Parents Heal. Through this organization, I meet the most incredible people. The loss of a child creates profound change in most – they start scholarships, create non-profits for healing grief, write books and create blogs. Many find themselves on a path of spiritual awakening, and discover a deep need to find a way to serve others. Most importantly, they open themselves up to discovering how to remain connected to their child. Each one of us has spiritual gifts. One may receive a gift of mediumship, another the gift of intuition, and another a gift of healing. The one thing I know for sure is that we all have the ability to connect with our child. And that has become my life’s purpose – to help other parents to heal. To not just survive but to find peace in the face of one of life's most difficult challenges.
I often run across people that are in various stages of grief and the early path of spirituality. In the beginning, I wanted everyone else to be as excited as I was to have awakened to the truth….and quickly found that if they didn’t think I was crazy, they were arrogant in their belief that they were much more enlightened than I. I realized that arguing wasn’t the way to impart any wisdom I might have gained from my experiences. It was much better to walk the talk, planting seeds here and there. And I let go of the need to have control of the outcome. I didn't just believe that no one ever dies, I KNEW it.
So now as I navigate through my new life, I find that the adage, “when the student is ready, the teacher will come” to be truer than I ever realized. Many teachers have appeared just when I needed them, and in turn I find others drawn to me so that I can teach them. The Universe is full of beautiful synchronicities – and infinite possibilities. As my daughter in spirit says, “Don’t take it all so seriously, mama. I’m fine, and I’m happy. It’s just a hologram, and you can create any life you want. I will always be with you. Just think of me, and I’m right there.” So I’m learning how to do it Sheridan’s way – embracing all that life has to offer, while sharing love and compassion. It’s about opening up to our connection to our loved ones and creating a life that honors them- infinite living, where anything is possible. Let me help you find it.